Check and List

As I established in my last post, "A" is history. However, it was as if he could smell the rejection through the phone waves and he upped his game by texting and calling me several times over the next few days. There was nothing of importance in any of them; in fact, most of them consisted of him trying to make last minute plans- as if I didn't have anything else to do with my life but wait around for when he actually got his act together. Needless to say, I didn't respond.

However, it got me to thinking: it was hard for me to just shut "A" out, even though he was not what I wanted in a man. Why is that? Do I like a challenge? The attention? Is it the fact that I knew it wouldn't go anywhere, so I felt safe with that?

Maybe what I really need is a checklist of things to look for in a man. I know several women have something like this and can include things that are logical (Can protect me from the dangers of the night) and the profound (Would make a good father). I don't roll that way. So here I present to you; "Nicole's Shallow List of Needs":

1) He should be 6' or taller. Nothing is sexier than a man that towers over me and makes me feel like a woman.

2) He should have a banging body. In the past I have dated men skinnier than me or (in one specific case) had muscles AND a gut. "How does that work?" you may ask. My answer? "No fucking clue." This time around I want a man who has a stomach/ chest that makes me tremble when I look at it.

3) He should have an accent. Irish or English is preferred. However, the less I can understand the more appealing you become. Keeps that mystery alive.

4) He should know how to dress himself. More importantly, he should wear a suit (or business wear) to work. I'm not sure why, but a man in a good tie and dress slacks gets me every time. Which is why the commute to work in the morning is so much fun.

5) He should probably have dark hair. Although I don't discriminate against other hues.

6) He should look good enough with me that when we walk by everyone else feels a bubble of jealousy of how damn adorable we are- separate and together.

So, do me a favor and comb the streets of where you live to find this man. If he doesn't live in Chicago, that's okay- we can just use some sort of overnight-express-get-him-to-me-now shipping.

Until then, I will just keep entertaining myself with these jokers...