WTF Factor

The ear to ear smiles have officially ended. This is not due to a bad date, or an awkward conversation. It is due to that fact that I haven't heard a word from Ryan since the last time I saw him over a week ago. It is upsetting, to say the least; as I had actually started to like him. What is worse is that the last time I had seen him, he was telling me about things he wanted to do the next time we hung out- including having me stay the night with him.
I texted him the Monday after to see if he was available Tuesday or Wednesday. By the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around, I had decided to text him again... this time just to say that I understood if he couldn't hang out, but wished that he would have at least told me. Still no response. As a last result I actually called and left him a voicemail today seeing if he was available next week. I figure if there is no response then I will have to suck it up, let it go, and learn from the mistake of letting myself have any type of feelings for a guy. At least this soon.

Due to the fact that I have been feeling rather in the dumps about Ryan's sudden silence, I have been trying to overwork my mojo to compensate. Last night, while at my local bar I spot two nerdy-but-adorable men. I can tell the taller of the two is interested in me, and I wasn't far off. We ended up playing darts, talking and holding hands throughout the night. By the time the bar closed, he was asking me to join them at another bar. When I declined he insisted on walking me home instead.
Once we reached my door, I expected the typical "So can I call you sometime?" This assumption is why I am still so very in the dark.
He gave me an awkward hug, smiled at me and said, "Until next time."

I am pretty sure I looked at him as if he suddenly grew a horn out of his forehead as I responded in disbelief, "Next time?" He just smiled again and nodded.

And then he walked away.

Oh! Okay, silly me! Of course, next time. When I decide to shine my batman like symbol into the sky so you know I would like to meet up again. What was I thinking being confused?

I am beginning to wonder how many men actually want to get to know a girl, or if they are just trying to build up their self esteem by getting a pretty girl to like them. I mean, what is the point in putting in so much effort only to say, "Well that was fun... but not fun enough that I want to ever see you again."

I suppose these are good things to have happen to me. Knocks me down a peg or two (because I have never been the full-of-herself kind of girl) and helps me remember that I am still very new to dating. And that's what is fun about it... the game is always changing.